Notes: Unless other otherwise stated Wordless Wednesday posts are not my artwork, and the credit to the artist is given as a link above the image.

Wednesday, 28 February 2007

Wordless Wednesday

Old England Morning by Jaime Jasso



Wordless Wednesday Participants
1. Brian aka hummingbunny
2. TorAa
3. The Crazy King of Clowns
4. Rav`N
5. Donna
6. Karen
7. Linda
8. Michael - Lover of Amy
9. delightfulduchess
10. Holly Schwendiman
11. amy
12. Biker Betty
13. Kai
14. anyhow
15. whenn
16. Rache
17. FelineFrisky - Diane
18. Hootin\' Anni
19. Twisted Cinderella
20. Mary (mert)
21. Gene Bach
22. Miranda
23. Bobbie
24. Sanni
25. Naughty Pictures

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Tuesday, 27 February 2007

Another ramble

Recently over this last month I've had relationship problems, we went on a break for instance, his choice not mine I said then that I had a feeling it would be the beginning of the end.

I'm trying hard but my personal automatic response is to close down, walls go up and mask is fitted. That doesn't mean things don't hurt or that I've stopped caring, just my emotional protection is of the utmost importance.

I think it's fair to say that I'm not happy with how things are, for instance I really can't be bothered to get dressed and go round to see him tonight, the idea bores me, the fact that that is my general mood at present is beside the point. Thinking of going round to sit and be told things in patronising tones or be ignored when speaking ... Why do I want to put myself through that?

Now I guess you ask why am I blogging this and not talking about it, well I've been told in no uncertain terms that deep, heavy discussions are off the cards.

I'm really struggling with everything here even this post, stuff goes round in my head but I don't seem to be able to put it in to words, I'm not sure actually if that isn't even more like I don't want to put it into words. Therefore I don't speak to anyone about it, everything I say seems to be negative or comes out negative, my mate already is not impressed so I stopped talking to him about stuff, then that makes me wonder if it's just that he's like my mother and is never impressed with my boyfriends.

So I'm guessing this is now me rambling, avoiding my real thoughts and skirting around them, well maybe when I'm in a more positive mood I'll read this again and rewrite it.

Bird seed


We're now into week three of me not smoking although I think I may have replaced it with something just as bad ...


I'm now a seed eater, now I appreciate that you're reading this and thinking 'she's crazy', in an effort to overcome the hand to mouth movement habit that you gain as a smoker.

I decided to eat sunflower seeds, now this became boring so I added what we here call Monkey Nuts for the Americans and anywhere else unfamiliar with the term I'm talking raw peanuts still in the shell. So this became boring as well even though the routine of sitting home in the evening shelling nuts ready for the next day started. I then decided to add Lindt orange chocolate, broken into small pieces, that was too messy as Lindt seems to melt as soon as it's touched.

I've now added Pine nuts, they taste like trees (don't ask how I know that, it's just one of those things you would relate the taste to). My little Tupperware container is very full of my mixture of sunflower seeds, peanuts and pine nuts.

Monday, 26 February 2007

Oh what to do

I'm in two minds about posting this but hey it's part of the inpatient lifestyle in general and not just about my patients.

There are a lot of similarities between where I work and a prison this includes restrictions of items, leave and general movement within the building as well as the number of doors that need unlocking and locking behind us.

Some of the biggest problems are bartering, exchanging, bullying and general exploitation of the vulnerable.

We discourage exchanges of property and bartering simply because there is always one vulnerable party that gets the raw end of the deal and it can always cause fights when one changes their mind and decides they want something back or claims it was stolen.

Tonight I was called to the smoking room to look at something, the something was a small plastic cup with 24p inside and a sticker on the outside saying 'tips for ****', I was then told how that person was also trying to sell sandwiches and a drink making service for a fee, and the money in the cup was from a vulnerable patient who was bullied into giving it.

Obviously you can not babysit them all the time so how do you prevent them from being exploited in such ways? Tonight was strange as I know the patient who came to get me to look was not coming off her own back and had been sent, also the one who had sent her was only pissed because it's her job to exploit and she didn't like having her toes stepped on.

So now we also run into a 'turf war' yet more fights where we end up having to defuse the situation at the risk of being attacked ourselves.

The above example of is the norm in this sort of situation, there is little we can do to stop it happening other than being observant and hoping they come to us if they need to. With the seriously vulnerable we do keep their money in the safe or their tobacco in the office to prevent it all being taken by the others.

Believe it or not this is part of what caused a major investigation into the running of one of one of the UK's special hospitals.

Saturday, 24 February 2007

Photo Hunt Saturday

Theme : Soft

This is my Bounce, and yep he's a big softy cuddled up to his teddy bear. I'd love to tell you all he still has his teddy only he later ripped it to pieces.

Saturday Photo Scavenger Hunt Participants
1. Kai
2. viamarie
3. Hootin\' Anni
4. patti
5. Daisy
6. Shawna
7. srp
8. smalltown RN
9. meeyauw
10. incog & nito
11. Friday\'s Child
12. Dragonheart
13. Carrie
14. amy

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Friday, 23 February 2007

Reasons

A couple of days ago at work one of the girls told me she had sat at home smoking and wondered why I had decided to give up smoking, she then said in a very stern way "it had bloody best not be because of HIM!".

Well my answer is quite simple, no it's not because of him, long ago I began to rebel against people who told me what to do and what not to do, so all the moaning in the world isn't going to make me give up smoking, I've had mum and dad on at me for it for 18 years thank you very much. Yes it's true it is one of his big gripes, I smoked when we met though, he knew I smoked.

The reason is I was smoking more and not leaving my bedroom to do so, it had come to the stage that I got home opened my bedroom door and walked out again because the smell was so bad, none of my clothes are even kept in my room any more, I wash them and leave them in the spare room to save them from stinking. Unlike going out to the pub for a night, getting home and dumping your clothes by the bed and waking the next morning smelling how bad they are I couldn't just remove the smell by putting it in the washing machine.

So there's my reason, I didn't like living in an ashtray and I'd rather have my clothes in my bedroom than in the spare room to prevent them stinking as well. That's all there is to it, I couldn't stand the smell any more, and I suddenly had time to myself to go and do something about it.

Am I signing everything away?

Today I printed out a booking form and started filling it in, I stopped when I got to the end and read the small print so to speak ...

All our indoor climbing course may involve bouldering (climbing without ropes and harnesses) to a maximum height of 5 meters.

Climbing and mountaineering are activities with a danger of personal injury or death.

Participants in these activities should be aware of and accept these risks and be responsible for their own actions and involvement.

You are signing below to accept this risk and no responsibility can be taken by the ************ Climbing Wall for any injuries sustained during this course.
So, I understand I could get hurt and I take responsibility for my own actions should they lead me to be injured, only I'm not so sure that I am happy to sign away my rights should I suffer an injury that is not my fault and is their fault.

Please feel free to leave comments on this, is that last paragraph that I have highlighted meaning that I sign away ALL rights to claim compensation should something happen that is their fault not mine?

Wednesday, 21 February 2007

Wordless Wednesday

This is another 3D art piece (not a photo) called Final City by CR-67 (Thomas Døhlen)

Click to enlarge

Note: None of my Wordless Wednesday posts are photographs, they are all 3D graphics, that means they are digital art work, not digital photo's ... If you don't read this it's not my fault if you look silly by commenting on how great the 'photo' is.


Wordless Wednesday Participants
1. Rav`N
2. MamaDuck
3. Donna W
4. Friday\'s Child
5. Michelle at Scribbit
6. amy
7. Gattina
8. Crissybug
9. TorAa
10. viamarie
11. whenn
12. Raggedy
13. Celeste
14. Ryan Velting
15. Ryan Velting
16. FelineFrisky - Diane
17. Wanda E
18. DecorGoof

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